A Bold and Beautifully Symbolic Wedding Inspired by Renaissance Art and Modern Love

[section title=”The Planning”]
[field title=”Wedding Colors”][/field]
[field title=”Design / Vibe / Vision”]

Our main color palette was inspired by William Kilburn’s textile. The florals are light blue and light pink, with some white and yellow, over a dark background. We were quite flexible with the palette as long as the concept of “sin” came through. In some cases, that meant light colors over a dark background. In other cases, we went with a more luxurious burgundy and gold combination.

The villa was first built in the 1200s. It is filled with furniture and art from the 1600s-1700s, and is covered in Renaissance-style frescos, the kind that often depict religious themes. But we are not religious, and our taste in fashion and general aesthetic is extremely modern. Eventually, we landed on the idea of “sin”. That one word connects religious themes with what it’s like to be a gay couple getting married in Italy. We explored different directions in which we could take the word, like abstract concepts like transgression, and related religious ideas like the “original sin”. The “original sin” – Eve’s bite of the apple – led us to the Garden of Eden, which became the inspiration for our fashion choices and our graphic design. We were especially inspired by a textile design by William Kilburn, a British illustrator from the 1700s. It is floral and pretty, but it has something dark and sinister about it. From there, we arrived at the seven deadly sins. Each sin would label a separate area or activity on the wedding day. “Gluttony” for the dinner, “sloth” for the lounge area, “pride” for the ceremony, “envy” for the photo booth, “lust” for the dance floor, etc…. We chose a Renaissance painting to illustrate each theme and further connect the theme to the venue.

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[field title=”Proposal Story”]

From Stefano: I always knew James wanted to propose. I also knew the proposal had to be special, and I would often catch James watching proposal videos on YouTube. My biggest challenge was that James is a planner. An extremely talented one. If planning were in the Olympics, James would have multiple gold medals. He plans our weekends and our vacations to the minute. And he plans months – sometimes years. I couldn’t plan a walk to the neighborhood coffee shop without consulting with him for an opening in our schedule. A surprise proposal was out of the question. His 30th birthday provided me with an opportunity! As a treat to himself, he tasked me with planning his 30th birthday. He wanted to be “whisked away”. I knew this would be my only chance. I decided on a retreat in Bali where I would propose on the night of his 30th birthday. We flew to Indonesia with the ring hidden in my luggage. I wanted to propose over a private dinner, but unfortunately, all meals were communal. The incredibly accommodating staff planned a dinner on our terrace, which was, thankfully, very private and secluded. They lit candles and spread rose petals on the dining table. I did a lot of research for inspiration in creating just the right speech. My favorite was from Chandler to Monica on Friends. The speech turned into more of a dialogue because I don’t think James understood what was coming until I said, “for the rest of my life”. When he said, “Yes,” it sounded more like “Duh”. From James: I was completely caught off guard by the whole proposal. I had no idea that he’d been planning this for the 6 months leading up to this trip, consulting with some of our closest friends who also didn’t leak the surprise! I remember in that moment, interrupting him, as if we were having a conversation over dinner for my birthday, reminiscing about our relationship. I had no idea it was all part of his speech! In retrospect, I’m so glad I had no idea, because it made the moment so much more memorable for us. I don’t remember a lot of it because I blacked out after that, but I’ll always remember the feeling of finally realizing what was going on and being completely impressed with his execution. It was perfect. Nothing I would have ever imagined, which is always the best way to surprise someone.

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[board_carousel title=”Getting Ready”]

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[board_carousel title=”Flat Lays”]

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[section title=”The Fashion”]
[field title=”Wedding Gown”][/field]
[field title=”Bridesmaid Dresses”][/field]
[field title=”Groomsman Attire”]

James: Stefano and I have always bonded over our love of fashion. I studied fashion design in college, and one of my earliest influences was Alexander McQueen. When I saw these deconstructed suits from Alexander McQueen by Sarah Burton, I immediately knew they were the ones! I loved the way the floral print continued from the suit to the shirt, and it worked out perfectly that they had complementary versions, the ivory and the black. For the evening, we knew we wanted something a little more “glitzy”. We found these gorgeous silver and gold jacquard suits from Dolce & Gabbana. We loved how completely different they felt from our wedding suits, but still had that indulgent, extravagant vibe, with floral elements. The stars of our evening wear, though, were our shoes! Those Giuseppe Zanotti crystal-embellished loafers were all everyone wanted photos of. They were perfect outfits to end the night on, as they had a little bit of stretch to get through the dancing and party. Stefano: When we had our first fitting at the McQueen boutique in New York, we noticed that the staff started whispering to each other, and more and more of them started gathering, until the small crowd spontaneously burst into applause. That’s when it hit me: we had something special with those two matching suits. Like James said, the crystal-studded silver and gold Giuseppe Zanotti loafers were the highlight of the evening. They were also the last thing we found! James wanted to wear heels… so, believe it or not, I had to convince him to settle for these. While everyone loved to take pictures of them, photos don’t do them justice, unfortunately. They looked much more sparkly in real life!

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[board_carousel title=”Ceremony”]

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[board_carousel title=”Cocktail Hour”]

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[section title=”The Details”]
[field title=”Food & Drink”]

Stefano: We decided early on that food would be our top priority. We are lovers of fine dining, which typically consists of tasting menus full of creative and unusual small bites. We wanted to share that type of experience with our guests. We would showcase the best ingredients and dishes Italy has to offer, and true to our theme, they’d be presented in their most “sinful”, indulgent, gluttonous preparation, and we needed a great chef to bring our vision to life. We’d previously had a memorable meal at the 3-Michelin-star restaurant Le Calandre, not far from our wedding venue. We found out that its parent company, Alajmo, also does catering for private events! The chef had interpreted our vision perfectly. All the traditional elements were there: parmigiano, ragù, carbonara, pesto, arancini, lardo, truffles, prosciutto, risotto, tiramisù, cannoli, etc. We chose 5 snacks for the aperitif, and 9 dishes for dinner, with a mix of textures, flavors, and regions to showcase. The one dish that I kept for sentimental reasons was the Tuscan crostini with chicken liver paté. It is from my hometown, and it was my favorite dish my mom would make while I was growing up. We offered the Alajmo Spritz as our signature cocktail for the Aperitif, with a flower for garnish, something we picked up at one of our favorite restaurants in San Francisco. To accompany the cocktail, we had a selection of small bites: Crispy polenta sandwich with creamed salt cod (Veneto), Quail egg with bottarga (Sardegna), Fried olive in the style of Ascoli (Marche,) Crispy black rice basket with raw seafood and lobster cream (Venet,o) Crispy Parmesan Chip with Mushroom Powder (Emilia)

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[field title=”Florals & Decor”]

We imagined high-contrast flowers intertwined with dark green vines, weeds, and branches. We wanted “sinful” flowers – flowers that are unusual-looking, with thorns, or long, wild weeds, and branches, when put together, create a little bit of tension in their color and aesthetic combinations. We wanted to stay away from anything too cute or pretty or delicate. However, we also wanted to stay away from luscious, dark, velvety violets/purples/reds (too old-fashioned, predictable). Instead of a dark color scheme, we were looking for lighter colos, with dark undertones. Inviting, but also enchanting, mysterious, unusual, even ugly. A very fine, tricky balance!

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[field title=”Wedding Cake”]

James: We didn’t have a cake or anything that resembled a cake. I ate cakes at weddings, they are never *that* good, or worth the calories. Instead, we went with a selection of three chocolate bites, a nod to Stefano’s chocolate sweet tooth. And to keep the night going, we also offered a chocolate ball filled with an espresso shot inside, that exploded into your mouth when you bit into it. A one-bite kind of dessert! Guests had fun with this! Stefano: The chocolate ball was inspired by “Pocket Coffee”, a chocolate candy filled with liquid coffee that’s quite popular in Italy. I’m proud to say it was our idea. I’m glad that, even though we worked with an award-winning catering company, James and I were still able to contribute a few great ideas!

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[field title=”Readings, Ceremony Music, Reception Songs”]

Stefano: I wrote the script for the ceremony myself. I kept it quite straightforward – just enough to make the moment feel significant. Choosing the song for the ceremony was difficult. Inspired by “Crazy Rich Asians”, we agreed we wanted a cover of a beautiful love song, performed live by our singer, Josmil. But there are precious few love songs that we both have a sentimental connection to. I wanted “In My Life” by the Beatles. James wanted “Make Me Feel My Love” – which I thought was too sad – or “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” – which I thought would be too blatant a reference to “Crazy Rich Asians”. At one point, we were so desperate that we considered “I See The Light” from the Disney movie “Tangled”, because it’s the only love song we both knew that had a bright, optimistic, sweet feel to it. Eventually, we settled on “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. A safe choice, but it worked out great. There wasn’t a dry eye in the garden as we walked down the aisle.

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[field title=”Special Detail #1″]

Stefano: I have a background in graphic design, so I designed the original save-the-date website, and briefly considered doing the print design myself. However, the theme was heavily based on floral illustrations, which would have been way beyond my comfort zone. Plus, I haven’t worked with printers in decades. So we set out to find a designer whose portfolio would match what we had in mind. That’s how we found Jill Ryder of Shindig Bespoke, who immediately understood the vision. We gave her a lot of direction initially – moodboards, mind maps, color palettes, etc. – but instead of feeling stifled, she was inspired by it. She designed a beautiful custom illustration for us, and also made us a custom monogram based on the S of Stefano wrapping like a snake around the J for James. Jill came up with the idea of a fabric-bound booklet for the invitations. The elements she created formed the basis for everything else. She designed a welcome booklet for all our guests. Inspired by an Italian passport, we picked a burgundy cover with a gold monogram. I also quickly made a wedding website based on her work. It took me less than a day!

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[field title=”Special Detail #2″]

Stefano: My favorite moment was our entrance for dinner after we changed into our second outfit. Our guests stood up for us and applauded. It felt genuine and heartfelt. The setting looked beautiful, and so did our guests. I’ve always dreamed of having a Beyoncé moment, and that felt like one. 🙂

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[field title=”Special Detail #3″]

For the welcome basket that was waiting in each of the guestrooms was some local snacks and water for in between meals, plug-in insect repellent for sleeping soundly, and a custom welcome booklet that we worked with Jill from Shindig Bespoke on that had the wedding schedule and local information of the town to serve as a guide. One last thing we sent guests home with was more personal. Stefano’s family owns and runs their private olive oil farm, not for sale, just for family consumption. Every time we visit, they always send us home with bottles full of this silky, delicious oil. So we asked if they could bottle some for our guests, and they were happy to. We created custom labels for them and included them at the dinner table in case guests wanted to try them on the spot. Most stashed them in their bags to take home as a memory of the trip to enjoy later.

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[board_carousel title=”Couple Portraits”]

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[board_carousel title=”Reception”]

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