Finding Love in a Crowd of Strangers — Twice

When Lila Rowe and Julie Henrietta Bailey first connected, Ms. Bailey was dressed as Cleopatra, complete with a floor-length orange dress and gold makeup, accessories and headdress. It was June 2007, and the two were on the same float, one devoted to diversity and arranged by a mutual friend, for Pride in London, the theme of which was “Fairy Tales, Myths and Legends.”

After the parade, they gathered with other revelers at First Out, a beloved gay cafe and bar in Central London that has since closed. Although the two had crossed paths many times at local L.G.B.T.Q. bars and clubs, “This is where we both first heard each other speak passionately,” Ms. Rowe said. “We both were silently impressed with each other.”

In the following months, a combination of serendipity and near misses ensued. In February 2009, at a local club, “We came dressed in almost the same colors,” said Ms. Bailey, who goes by Jai. “It was so surreal.”

In July, at the Presidents Ball, a Black queer celebration inspired by the optimism of the Obama era, Ms. Rowe and Ms. Bailey, along with their partners, found themselves conversing about Blessence, Ms. Bailey’s online magazine for lesbians of color that ran from 2008 to 2011.

A few months later, in November, Ms. Rowe unexpectedly walked in on Ms. Bailey in a bathroom stall at a club. “It was a very awkward moment,” Ms. Bailey said. But Ms. Rowe broke the tension with a playful, flirtatious remark: “Everyone wants to be locked in a toilet with Jai Henrietta.”