For life like a Pair of Dear community, these words we know well:
When every Wedding you will be pronounced.
There are weighty words of encouragement and of hope
for a common path, which no one knows.
But they also have a strict, binding:
marriage is a communion of life
So is it even in the Civil code. (§ 1353 , Para. 1 sentence 1 of the German civil code)
1.Prologue
But the law also says that a broken marriage can be dissolved.
The Bible knows divorces. Jesus emphasized but the original creation, God’s will, and the fraction that each divorce means.
The churches take this seriously. But draw different conclusions.
The Protestant and the Orthodox Church to re-Marry.
The Catholic Church is Jesus – like nowhere else – literally
and first marriages in high notpeinlichen processes, void,
before you get into another marriage, agrees.
Thus, under a competent Ecumenical core in the late evening rounds joked:
If he kills his wife!“
A priest must record a repentant murderer of his sin and loss.
Catholics who marry for the second Time, shall not confess once.
No wonder, then, that in Rome, advice, there is a need.
Parturiunt montes. It circles the mountain…
If, of course, the memoirs of the EKD to marriage, in turn, substantial statements and way of life near the combine, it could equally argue.
So slow!
2.Redemption of the embossing
We listen to today, this dispute of Jesus with the Knowledge
– and, perhaps, their own experience ,
that marriages in a large number of divorced, relationships shatter,
and that women as well as men, their marriage will not stand
and the divorce,
and that some marriage considerable destructive Potential
even if they outwardly further.
Crises in the relationship, and your total collapse, are common.
Who wants to be in this area something to say?
Especially from the Church, Protestant or Catholic? No, thank you.
Of course, to remind the Church of the lines
again and again to the importance of marriage.
We have but quiet once the bishops
with their appreciation for the Christian marriage alone
and think about what you are actually a Couple,
except for words of empathy and consolation – might say,
the man knows well, and the diverge begins.
What could get a Couple to change his mind, his relationship?
What could liberate pairs of fatal embossing?
I would like to propose a couple of reasons.
Thus, we arrive not as far back as Jesus,
so that we say should:
it would be the order of creation in front of Moses in sight.
If, however, the reality of failure is not excluded is,
can the freedom and discharge potential of the marriage deployed.
We speak in consciousness, that it breaks in our existence,
which is also where we, the old order left, not into Nothing,
but the admission of the Fragility of all orders
and to the hope that God, his people turn to.
Before God and in the Church is no respecter of persons.
In Faith you can live with his fractions.
But it must necessarily always?
We try to be a word for the continued existence of a marriage of appeal:
Against the
of his life beginning with the magic of a new love to feed,
but also against Resignation and General fatigue.
3a.Cooking pot
The best-known Argument is that, in today’s reading
of Erich Fromm in his book
Fromm writes, it would be in the relationship of a pair of so,
some of the rapid emotional impulse passes,
but the context of their relationship should have a stabilizing effect.
So in the picture said,
that the loving couples often like a hot pot,
the one on a cold stove and the rapidly heat loses,
while couples with a stable environment, even in the Cool of the mind
a slow development to the heat and gluten-take,
like a cold water pot from the stove permanently kept warm is.
With other words: After the initial urge to
be by his Partner to confirm to leave,
what a big man you are, how attractive she is,
and the merger process,
to which it is a few degrees higher love-temperature needed,
comes a long way together,
the spouses each other anverwandeln.
Then, instead of when a relationship is always transfixed on the feeling level to stare,
but only the result of a total heat,
you should see whether the stove is working, if the framework is right,
if everyone comes, find a place for,
his place of retreat, the confirmation,
the good feeling of a job to have, which suits him.
Often the death is in the pot, because the frame is true.
As you have perhaps for the better look for it.
The quality of a relationship is not defined
by the depth of the feelings of love,
but what you for roles ready:
whether it is needed or to help allow can
and if it is over this write-up satisfaction is the winner.
You need each other’s support, handles common tasks.
This lasts until the house is built, and the children are half-fledged.
With all the limitations of self-realization and self-discovery: a piece of stability. Discharge. Freedom of space.
This is not little. But is this enough?
You wanted more out of life?
Attracts because it is not the possibility of the biography in a whole different way to write and prefer to start from scratch:
with the increased output, the temperature and better Knowledge? (M. Frisch, biography of a game)
3b. A falling brick
Therefore, a second note.
In one of his early masterpieces as crime author
has the American Dashiell Hammett by a Detective told,
of the task, a number of years lost husband to track down.
A chance to succeed, and the result is striking:
There lives a man in gutsituierter Situation,
with spacious house and well maintained sedan, nice children
and a caring, athletic and blonde wife,
two clubs, and Golf.
One day, on the way home from his work when he on the road occurs,
a brick from the roof, falls just past him
and shattered on the curb. It could be the death of him.
Everything would have been pointless, what he had built.
So he leaves deeply moved, but in an orderly and without it evil to my,
his home, and in another Federal state.
He finds a job, a wife, buys a car, have children,
build a house and goes to play Golf.
The new woman is caring, athletic and blonde,
the kids are nice. Life goes on as before.
What is that supposed to mean?
It is supposed to mean: not a wife and not a husband can give us
the sense of our life guarantee, and
faced with the question of death and Ageing a response.
The question of the uniqueness of my life and the passing of time
is a question to myself, and I must himself answer.
Where I live, and with whom I live:
I will have these issues with you anywhere.
A new partnership is often only an illusion,
because I’ll kill myself with, and thus, the old problems.
Often happens is a separation because of a walk not want to,
because he is afraid of the end of life, before the expiration of life.
He would just always, the other is changing.
This is the heart Härtigkeit that Jesus speaks of.
3c. Philemon and Baucis
The third is a picture: Philemon and Baucis.
The image of an old marriage. Together, they sit on the bench.
Eventually, one will die and the other will follow him soon.
All you have survived, their spats, his infidelity –
his nagging and your depression.
It wasn’t ideal in their marriage, and they have given up a lot for each other.
Yes, even unjust it was, because it has more abandoned at the time.
Her daughters have not done so then.
But now their grandchildren and their grandchildren,
the look on this image of the Old man on the bench
and also want your life together to survive.
They have their own parents ‘ eyes,
their shelves full with the self-help books:
Thereafter, the literature came about alimony payment and patchwork families.
These parents may be familiar to about complementary
and cooperative relationships parley, and
at the outbreak of open anger in all the Cool say:
The grandson, but felt how thin the surface of the handling of culture,
when in the course of a marital dispute
with feelings of guilt, fear, jealousy, and hatred that goes.
Marriage is each, the smartest and the Unwissendste a naked man,
in the wild to beat and as deep hurt can be.
In their young years, the grandchildren are very precocious.
If you then, even to the altar come,
then stirs in you the image
of Philemon and Baucis.
And they promise it very seriously,
namely
, and as swings, this old high word up:
and is silent on the whole Celebration.
And this word is not love alone,
but reliable love: Loyalty. Utopia of Fidelity.
4.For life like a Pair of
The fundamental statement of the Christian faith to marriage is,
that Belief gives the courage to Loyalty and
the possibility of human infidelity not as the measure
for the marriage recognise can.
The open question of Jesus, from creation to us, is:
You can not stick to it, the woman, the man had chosen
a landscape in which you live,
verses that you memorize and white, to love and to desire?
In the case of one who is faithful, the new desires of the ancient related,
and the old desires are extinguished not.
(Georges Roditi)
Is it so? You can only ask.
Three times I have set to not only feelings,
but after the mutual Dependence,
the common framework. You can ask,
whether the marriage is not with the search for the meaning of my life overloaded is that you can’t solve can’t solve to
, and you can ask,
whether this old Ideal of Loyalty, not much more modern than the wide-effective communication-Quark in-a-Generation, once again, your nose buried?
M u s s you don’t even ask, as a friend of the friend,
as a friend of the friend?
M u s s it is not, as Jesus did, say,
that it is always divorces is,
but the only statistics that are of so little significance
, such as children and adults every year than traffic deaths in the statistics appear and not Numbers, but people,
whose life might have been rather different?
Jesus emphasized the break, the end of marriage means.
But in contrast to the sauertöp fishing moralists and stone-throwers,
lies for him in the acknowledgement of the breach, and
in the existential necessity of repentance
, the Chance of God’s forgiveness
and the possibility of a new Beginning.
Our task as Christians is to do it alone,
by marriage, to think, and not from your Failure here,
a prejudice for the marriage to have,
just as Jesus had,
beyond all sorts of clever fixes the marriage and divorce literature
to remember, how much of a man and a woman,
people, each other referenced are,
how you reason to be together,
how strong is the archetype of their partnership and love for community.
You are one flesh. Clearly you can not say it.
Belongs to the Monogamy of the values that we now appeal to,
so it’s not like in the Banlieues of Paris to the tolerance
of different Eheformen comes, the social disastrous impact? (Aufstände2005)
Who had not once seen
as an old married couple, talking,
how your gear approximated, and the way to speak,
how similar their views and often even in the face:
they are one flesh.
It is beautiful to see and to observe,
there are the things of this world is a matter of course back,
you long without has,
it is a picture of the relationship between a man and a woman,
as it once was and as it will again be
a gloss by the first light of Creation.
5.Refractions
A light, but, in its many refractions
of the many includes, the other paths to follow.
There are many ways the highest Dignity and dignity;
positions, tasks, and Offices, the knight.
The marriage is just one of many orders,
all of a provisional meaning.
It is not a panacea and not the highest Good.
You don’t need to get married, Paul said.
Marriage reduces and increased the danger of life.
On the question of whether, in the face of her hot-tempered husband,
Winston Churchill often to divorce would think,
Mrs. Clementine Churchill with biblical force, explains:
But murder!“
Shakespeare, in turn, stand on the scene before his eyes,
a Delinquent from the gallows redeemed could be,
when a woman from the crowd to marry him wanted to
and let him confidently as maliziös say:
(What you want I,5)
Indeed! AMEN.